BANG-BANG!

I've made a major life decision: I'm getting rid of my bangs. Most of you are probably thinking, so what? If you've known me forever, you know that me without bangs does not compute in your brains. It's part of who I am and my personality. Ever since I was a toddler, I've had bangs. My mom thinks my forehead is too small and so she decided to shield me from social ridicule. However, from ages 15-19, I did go bang-less...and I never heard the end of it from my mother.

The reason why I decided to finally go without bangs was because of Amber from MTV's TEEN MOM. They were so unflattering and I just got upset at the fact that we had similar hairstyles. Below is her picture:

And below is a picture of her stud boyfriend, Gary.

I can't have the same hairstyle as a girl who breeds children with guys that look like this. I don't want to be associated with guys named, "Gary".

And below is a picture of me, my brother Joel, and his three chins. This is Christmas, 1988:

Look at those baby rockabilly bangs and chubby cheeks! It's like I'm going for the baby Bettie Paige look. Do you dig Joel's bow-tie and suspenders?