Dior Show Mascara

I'm going to shell out the $24 dollars to buy this mascara. I sampled it at Sephora and fell in love with how smooth it went on. My eyelashes are in need of something drastic, and I think this is it. I want crazy big eyelashes with out the Tammy Faye-effect.

2009 Was Stupid.

I am very eager to start 2010.  The minute it turned into 2009, I knew it was already going to be bad. I was stuck somewhere in Gladstone, OR trying to find some party in a car packed with a bunch of girls. I turned to $Cruz and said, "Great, we're spending New Year's eve in Joey Gladstone, Oregon. This is going to suck..."

This past year has sucked so much...let's talk about it. 

• Moved into a new apartment where murder happened across the hall. Remember that?
• Moved three times between mid-2008 until mid-2009
• Caught strep throat--twice.
• Had my wisdom teeth taken out
• Caught an infection in my mouth because of it.
• Had surgery to remove the infection because it wouldn't get better.
• Took crazy strong antibiotics that I ended up being severely allergic to and went to the ER
• Crazy strong antibiotics ended up killing "good bacteria" in my body and ended up sick.
• Prescribed other antibiotics to make it better.
• Ended up fixing my problem in Mexico with alternative methods and lots of tea drinking. 
• All of this because of my wisdom teeth and my awesome immune system. 
• Graduated with a B.A. and later found out it was useless.
• People sucking in general and finding out their malicious intentions. 
• The ECONOMY RUINED EVERYTHING.
• Not blogging as much as I would have liked :( 

But not everything was ALL bad. Here are some good parts...

• Had a bomb birthday party and EVERYONE had fun. :)
• Got good grades because I am esssmar and muy intelligente 
• MEXICO MAGICO trip of 2009! Best graduation gift ever. 
• Late-night trips to Denny's or Shari's with $Cruz
• Car dance-parties to de-stress and forget about homework and life
• I found out who my real friends were. That was nice. 
• But most importantly, I learned that I am a determined person and I can do anything. Death and funerals are my worst fear (not my own mortality, having to witness others), so when I lived next door to a murder scene, I mustered up the courage to just deal with it. I mentally blocked everything out every time I would go in and out of my apartment. I don't know how, but I did. And I'm glad. 

Going through 2009 was like walking through hellfire. This has been by far, the worst year of my life. I didn't divulge much because I don't like to put people on blast and you don't know me like that. Buy me a lobster dinner first and a few drinks, then we'll see if I'll talk more...

Jack in the Box: Mozzarella Cheese Sticks

We don't want blog readers to get confused. We heart make-up (and of course a ton of other things) but we're not just a "beauty" blog. Therefore I have to put this post in the middle of make-up craze '09 posts, which is needed.


Marb$ and I are not as puerca as we once were, but every now and again we like the taste of garbage food. It's more of a treat now, rather than a "college inside killing" diet. Mostly very late at night, after drinking some "h20 on the rocks" we venture out and prowl for comida. Jack in the Box has BOMB Mozzarella sticks! Who knew! We have branded them "da best." Sit down restaurants are nowhere near these fried cheese goodness. Check these out, venture out and do this to yourself. You'll be in bliss-town USA.

*CAUTION: just get the 3 piece...there is no need to eat more than 3 in one sitting. Also, don't use the zesty marinara sauce. It's gross.

Last Fun Purchase of 09

Yo and hello. I have a few things to share from Holiday season '09, and I think I'm going to do it over a few posts, because I don't want to do overload post. I didn't receive a lot of actual gifts, rather a little bit of spending cheese...therefore purchases I made on my own.

First, I'll talk about what I just bought like 2 minutes ago.

These earrings (from girlprops...free shipping for orders $9.95+!!!)
3.25 x 3.5" Triangular Bamboo Door Knockers in Gold
From CherryCulture, I bought a lot of cheap stuff!!! If you use the promo code SALE20 you get 20% off all purchases! This deal only lasts until Dec 30. Get on that! Here are just a few things I bought:

NYX Jumbo Eyeshadow Pencil (on sale for $3 each!)
Colors I got: Milk, Gold, and Iced Mocha

NYX Mega Shine Lipgloss ($3.75)
(these look like the poor cousin of NARS lipglosses...I don't currr!)
Colors I got: Sponge Cake & Perfect Red


One needs a variety of lip color, RIGHT?!!? Help me justify my purchases! These are effing steals, plus....20% off! I didn't do that much damage. But it's almost payday, and after I throw some into savings....I'm ready to go clothes shopping! I need to!

N.Y.C. Eyebrow Kit

During my trip to Mexico, my cousin Lili had bought an eyebrow kit by N.Y.C. She copped it at the Wal-Mart in Tuscon, Arizona for only $3.99 (Plus tax. Oregon has no sales tax!). Lili and I are the two family members that look the most alike, some have mistaken us for twins. Unfortunately, her and I inherited weird-colored eyebrows. As she puts it, they are the color, "rata" (translation: rat). Our eyebrows are a weird shade of grey.

To mask this problem, she bought this eyebrow kit in "Brunette". I tried some and bought my own. It stays put AND it is a flattering color. It even comes with mini tweezers and grooming wax to keep it in place. After getting this miniature kit, I've cared more about the shape of my eyebrows. They really do frame the face. Here are some of my eyebrow inspirations:

Sophia Loren

Elizabeth Taylor

Audrey Hepburn

And last, and certainly not least, "La Doña"--Maria Felix. Queen of the arched-brow and Mexican cinema!

 

 On a side-note unrelated to eyebrows--I got to see where she was born when I went to Alamos, Sonora, Mexico. Feel free to hate on me.

Santa My Mom Doesn't Know Me..

My mom got me the "Baby" perfume from Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lover's Collection. I specifically told her a couple of month's ago that if she were to get me a perfume, it'd be Versace's Bright Crystal. She forgot.

The bottle is cute, but it literally smells like a baby prostitute. I imagine that Miley Cyrus uses this scent on the daily. In my mom's mind, I am still 11 years old listneing to No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom. She still believes I'm that dorky kid that idolizes Gwen Stefani and wears body glitter to school dances. This is all sorts of depressing.

I don't want to seem like a brat, but I was disappointed. I specifically asked for no gifts because my mom  never gets it right. Ever. It's also insulting when she gets me things I would never get myself. Polka-dotted beanie with a brim? Really, mom? (I'm for serious, this is something I also recieved) At least she tried.

I'm not a Christmas person anymore, and I'm pretty sure being a broke post-grad is hugely responsible for this. You really know what I want for Christmas? My old life back--minus the homework. Get on that, Santa.

You & Alan Thicke Need to Talk...

Are your parents going through a divorce? Do you need to find ways of blowing off steam? Let Dr. Seaver help you out...

I Am Tiger Woods

I am so tired of the whole Tiger Woods debacle. However, this video that was posted last week by Funny or Die still gets me! It's a tad on the gross side--you have been warned:

I am Tiger Woods from TWoods

Stuff Educated Chicanos Like

Mayra from Hella Breezys sent this in my Facebook inbox the other day: Stuff Educated Chicanos Like


About a year ago, I posted an entry on some stupid blogs entitled, "Stuff Educated Latinos Like" and "Stuff Latin People Like" (I still cringe at the word "latin"). These blogs made me so upset because they did NOT know what they were talking about.

Stuff Educated Chicanos Like speaks to me and my soul. Mayra hit it on the nail when she found it! All of it is true and it's hilarious. Yes, I do own things with the Virgin de Guadalupe and various saints, yet I do not go to church. Yeah, I enjoy conferences and conventions to meet other Educated Chican@s/Brown People/Raza and going to the after-parties. Those parties have been some of the most epic ones I have ever been to in my life--hands down! There's always going to be some down-ass self-identified Chicana that goes off against white feminism, talks about the importance of recognizing the struggle of la mujer (or muxer if you are super hardcore), and then grinds her ass on some dude to reggaeton music while not spilling her red cup.  That's just how those parties go.

One of my favorite memories was when $Cruz and I went to a conference and ran into a brown James Franco. She was walking in front of me and her head did some sort of Excorcist-360-turn with her jaw dropped. My head also followed him, why front? He ended up being some idiot douche lord from Santa Rosa. He was in my discussion group and he started going off on how he thought white men "had it hard too." Of course, in typical Marb$-fashion, I ripped him a new asshole with my debate skills. Que pendejo, I still can't believe it! And after further inspection of his face, we concluded that it had more craters than the moon.

I highly suggest you all check out the Stuff Educated Chicanos Like! Also, check out Mayra's blog Hella Breezys!

Nails of the week!

Not totally pumped about their outcome but learning to love them...

Hater Jueves: Bachelorette Parties

I know it's not Jueves, but please, just pretend it is. I didn't have time to blog, I've been trying to get my working girl on!

This has been a huge pet peeve of mine for awhile now. There is nothing tackier than a group of girls celebrating a bachelorette's final night as a single-girl. The same applies to the males, but I find the group of girls behavior more repulsive since it sets women back about 100 years.

Since this post is not "suitable for work", I suggest you leave....

Anyway,

You've seen these girls before at the club. They roll in huge packs with their penis straws and rhinestone-encrusted tanktops that say words like, "Bridesmaid", or "Bride-to-be".  The bride usually dons a veil with mini penises or wears a penis headband to differentiate herself from the other girls. She is the one getting hazed by her girlfriends and agrees to drinking things like "blowjob shots" and flashing her boobs at oncoming traffic.

What is so liberating about doing pendejadas like that? I just don't get it. Maybe I'm a prudish square-bear, or maybe I don't feel like participating in traditions that just degrade me and other women. I'd like to think it's the ladder.

Let us not forget about male strippers. Men that are shiny from all the baby oil they douse on themselves are not "hot".  They just smell like babies while they try to pelvic thrust in your face--it's just awkward for everyone. My hard earned money will NOT be put into some stranger's man-thong.

I told $Cruz that if I were to ever get boo'ed-up forever (operative word being "if"), to please, please, please, please, not throw me a bachelorette party. I'd rather take a random trip somewhere or get my nails done with friends. $Cruz, mark my words,  if you so choose to even buy me a penis-shaped pinata, I will  get you a policeman stripper. I'll make him do lunges and say things like "You have the right to remain sexy..."

Jersey Shore is HILARIOUS

There was a reason MTV decided to show a TWO-HOUR premiere of the Jersey Shore--it was EPIC. It reached so many levels of ridiculous and hilarious! I can't believe people like this really exist! If you haven't already watched it, I suggest you go to www.mtv.com and get on it immediately. In case you missed all the shenanigans watch this YouTube:

MTV has also decided NOT to air the footage where "Snookie" gets knocked the fuck out, so we decided to post it here because it was so unbelievable! That girl FLEW across the room. Who punches women like that? No one deserves that! Women don't deserve to get beaten, threatened, or told they are nappy-headed bitches and future unfit mothers. I'm just sayin...

BANG-BANG!

I've made a major life decision: I'm getting rid of my bangs. Most of you are probably thinking, so what? If you've known me forever, you know that me without bangs does not compute in your brains. It's part of who I am and my personality. Ever since I was a toddler, I've had bangs. My mom thinks my forehead is too small and so she decided to shield me from social ridicule. However, from ages 15-19, I did go bang-less...and I never heard the end of it from my mother.

The reason why I decided to finally go without bangs was because of Amber from MTV's TEEN MOM. They were so unflattering and I just got upset at the fact that we had similar hairstyles. Below is her picture:

And below is a picture of her stud boyfriend, Gary.

I can't have the same hairstyle as a girl who breeds children with guys that look like this. I don't want to be associated with guys named, "Gary".

And below is a picture of me, my brother Joel, and his three chins. This is Christmas, 1988:

Look at those baby rockabilly bangs and chubby cheeks! It's like I'm going for the baby Bettie Paige look. Do you dig Joel's bow-tie and suspenders?

Robin Thicke on 106 and Park!

Everything about this performance oozes AMAZING. If I were a guy, I'd be sexually aroused by Robin Thicke's performance. It's okay, it's a safe space here at IHST, just go with how you feel. Let me just point out all the things that make us weak in the knees just by watching the video below:

•  His post-modern Don Draper/Mad Men hair. Me gusta mucho!
• The all velvet tuxedo. Muy chulo!
• His dance moves and his overall smooth demeanor.
• That voice that is just as velvety as his tuxedo.

I almost want to pose as Nicki Minaj just so I could be near him. We have the same hair-- bangs and  blond stripes underneath (I know, I'm so tacky, I love it). I think I would not be able to perform since I would have pervy-groping-let's-make-out-thoughts on my mind. Is that wrong? No, it's right.

It's hard to believe that his real-life dad is Alan Thicke, or as we know him, Dr. Seaver from Growing Pains! How could someone hella dorky spawn such beautiful man-candy? This goes against science...and even God.

And just for kicks, the Growing Pains theme song. I know some people who may enjoy this...

Amazing Gift!

I was given a pretty bomb office warming gift by a former co-worker of mine. She always knows exactly what screams "Stefanie!" She came by my office and delivered me with this:



Amazing? Ya. I can crunch all the numbers. Thanks Bearica!

New Year's Eve Attire

I'm not quite sure what I want to wear for New Year's Eve. I just know that I want to stand out and go crazy with it. I want crazy nails did, hair-done, funky tights, and a pair of heels that will make me feel fierce. Is that too much to ask for? Now that I am making a little bit of money, I can maybe go all out this year! I had an idea of what I wanted in my head and planned on actually making my outfit, but now that I am nowhere near my sewing machine, that is out of the question. So here are some items on my NYE wishlist:

Can you imagine the dress above with a top hat and some black or white gloves? I would even try to get a pimp cane and a top hat to make it extra fancy. I'm dead serious.

 Normally, I'm not a sequins kind of girl, but this dress is bomb! All over shimmery gold always wins! You know I'm down for a less-gay C-3PO look! One caveat though-- shiny fabric means light reflects off it which then makes you  look bigger than what you really are. I want to avoid my ass looking like the ball that drops at midnight. Whatever, it's so fabulous I'll just go with it.

So cute and adorably basic. I'll just add gold necklaces and accessories and I'm done!

This reminds me of that Valentino bag $Cruz posted about a year ago. I love the idea of wearing red. I bet everyone will be wearing the LBD (Little Black Dress) like no other.

I just love how retro this looks. It's like 50's trophy housewife meets modern times and cocktail hour. Love that belt!

Keeping it hella Portland

Now that I am in Portland, Stefanie and I try to get ourselves into fun shenanigans. Sometimes we like to just chill and talk. If there is anything I love more, it is the ambience of the entire city during Christmas. It's chilly, not rainy, and it's lit-up. I ♥ city lights and lights of any kind at night.

This time last year, $Cruz and I would "Cruz" around, have car-dance parties, write/draw obscenities or dorky things on her foggy windows, and eat junk food. We would avoid homework and find ANY distraction. It's nice to know that we don't have a paper to get back to at the Broadway lab. That weight has FINALLY been lifted off of our shoulders. Anyway, these pictures encompass our lives:

I love you Portland! I'm sorry I took you for granted and Chris Brown-ed you.

Marb$ and $Cruz discuss Gerard Butler

Marb$: "Wait, isn't Saturday Night Live on tonight?"

$Cruz: "Yeah, but it's a repeat."

Marb$: Who's on it?

$Cruz: "Gerard Butler. Ugh".

Marb$: "My mom made me watch The Ugly Truth with her. It was so stupid."

$Cruz: "Gerard Butler looks like he smells like rape. Rape and beer." 

Marb$ Wants Perfume!

Hello kids, sorry I haven't been around these past couple of weeks. Currently, I am working in Portland and crashing at $Cruz's sister's casa. They have been very nice and I am extremely grateful! I know I'm not Salvi-DeLorean and say things like "vos" and "sos", but they took this little hobo Mexican girl into their home. Every night since my arrival has been like a slumber party-- minus the Jonathan Taylor Thomas TigerBeat magazines and prank calling boys.

Anyway, for the past six months, I've been attempting to find a smell that would go with my personality. Normally, I'm not a perfume person, but I figured that I needed to have a signature scent. See, as a communication studies major, I learned that scent is very powerful. If you are gorgeous, but smell like a dumpster, you're beauty does not matter. Nobody wants to be near gross-smelling people. However, if you smell good and look like the elephant-man, people would rather be around you.

I have found the perfect scent for moi: Bright Crystal by Versace.  Can you tell my mom I want this for Christmas? It's a light floral smell that makes me feel pretty when I wear it.  Now, I don't have to resort to smelling like a whorish vanilla, sandalwood, sugar-cookie combination to bring all the men to the yard.

HATER JUEVES: Basketball Players Playing w/ Their Mouthguards

LeBron James is king of this "playing with the mouthguard" phenomenon. There are a lot of b-ball players who do this, but he takes the pastel. As a basketball fan I enjoy watching the game, not so much the mouth wrestling of mouth and guard. Why do they choose to do this? It's distracting and gross. Next time you catch a wicked great NBA game, peek around for the mouthguard wrestling...it'll ruin your life.

Nails of the week!

Inspiration of my nails for this week: LA Gear. I used way too many colors, but that is by far not a bad thing. Check it out:



Marb$ took this pic with her phone, seeing as how I have a non-camera phone at the moment (my blackberry commtted suicide and I'm left with a phone from 1989). This picture was taken at our local Taco Bell. Yes, TB. We went there and we're not even in college anymore. We needed some cheering up. I had a hellish day yesterday and I'm still very much confused over my future. But our medicine is a fun mix in the car and the Taco Bell value menu. A+ for us!

Also, La Marb$ is staying at Casa de la Cruz for a chunk of time. So we got our 6th grade slumber party on and I did her nails. This took so much out of me, and I wasn't even 100% satisfied with their outcome. But for my first try with this it's not too bad, right?!?!

Wicked Great Songs

Marb$ y la $cruz love music. Our taste has morphed through the years but we stick it straight into our veins no matter the genre. We want to showcase a couple of jams:

"Permitame"-Tony Dize ft. Wisin & Yandel



"La Calle Me Lo Pidio"-Tego Calderon Ft. Yandel

Wrong Choice!

During our New Moon adventure, we got to see some previews. I love previews! One trailer in particular made us IHST gals a bit angry. Amanda Seyfried (the girl who can predict the weather from her boobs in Mean Girls) is now in every movie ever made post Mamma Mia! She is in this new movie called Letters to Juliet (preview below):



All I really got from the trailer was that she is a lover of all things romantic and follows a love story and Gael Garcia Bernal is a crazy foreign kooky guy who doesn't show her enough attention, therefore she goes and gets it from a dude who is the anti-Gael and therefore not bomb. How upsetting. Maribel said that Gael's character is practically Bronson Pinchot from Perfect Strangers. Why would they do this to me?!

Bug Juice

I watched Bug Juice as a tween. I wanted to go to summer camp so badly after watching all these kids have a blast! I was so jealous, it was unhealthy. But like much of my childhood, I lived vicariously through the television.

The first season was the most memorable, it was the pioneer and just the overall best. Season 1 debuted in 1998! That was soooo long ago!

The first season took place at Camp Waziyatah...that is such a cool name that's hint that this adventure that was called Bug Juice was going to be a grand one. There were lots of great memories from this season and the show in general but I just want to highlight some of my favorites.

First, tween/teen love triangles and "freak dancing." Stephanie and Conner were quite the couple. Conner was the brooding new kid who wore baggy shorts and stayed quiet. Many of the girls had crushes on him but alas, Stephanie snatched up that "hottie." One night at a camp dance she lured him in with her crazy 90's hair and sunflower dress. Then they both got a little hot and heavy on the dance floor and everyone turned their heads. Daaaamn! It was pretty intense for the eyes of middle schoolers.

Second, Asa. Do you remember Asa? The chubby kid with yellow hair who was a little bit younger than the rest and just a loner? You could feel for his loser-ness. His hairstyle needs to comeback and create more awkwardly painful year(s) for boys around the age of 12.

Third, mean girls! This is the age in which girls are the most brutal and create cliques so quickly. There were so many girl fights, and I thought they were so epic! Their drama only made my 12 year old self feel better about my life. Secretly, I wanted to be a mean girl with them.

If you need a refresher or you haven't seen this show...here is the first episode (whoever uploaded episodes on youtube is my new hero):

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Twilight: New Moon!

We did it! We finally saw New Moon! La Marb$ y yo went on an adventure to the mall and watched the movie! We were totally tweening it up as we were walking into the theater. We're in our 20's, but we didn't care one bit. We turn the corner to see how filled up the seats were...we were the first ones inside the theater. Therefore, we got the perfect center seats.

We took in the movie and talked during the film, IHST commentary...we were so ethnic about it. But whatever, I don't feel bad because this group of ladies squealed when Jacob had his first shirtless scene. I mean I understand their want to let out a noise from seeing his bod, it's like a reflex.

The movie was...I'm gonna say it...better than the first Twilight. This movie had way better special effects, the story was more intense, and the movie just had you hooked from the beginning. The movie is all cheese, but you forgive it! This movie is meant to be candy!

But yes, this film made me lean toward Team Jacob. How is he 17 years old!?!?! He was born in 1992, I remember 1992 so clearly. Taylor Lautner did a pretty good job, he held his own. Plus he even pulled off the long haired wig! That is a miracle in itself. After seeing so much 17 year old buff bod, Edward looked like he had the body of a pale 13 year old girl.

Overall, we loved it! We came out of the theater and our eyes were dry from not blinking, therefore amazing!


February 11th, 2010...18 years old. We're creepazoids, yes.